“What in tarnations am I gonna do with this thing?” “Uh,” I said, “you can make tortillas. I saw another YouTube video where an old Chinese lady who looked about ninety was making dumpling wrappers.” “Weighs a ton; damn near gave me a hernia when I picked it up.” “It is heavy,” I said, “…and look, it’s getting all rusty already.” “Isn’t that the thing that Joe Pesci put that guys head in—to get information out of him in that there movie?” “No, that was a vise.”
“Hey, help me lift it. arghargh, Jesus, holy sh*t.” “There now you can take you’re stupid picture.”
Well, let me think here for a minute of all the uses I can get out of this (If Elvis don’t mind). Looks like it will make a mighty fine pill crusher, or an ‘anything’ crusher for that matter. Hmmm, it is heavy and for now it’s sitting, though I did use it last night to try to flatten some dough to make crescent rolls (didn’t work). Maybe some empanadas, though I can’t understand what that nice Spanish lady is saying—Though I did understand the word ‘aqua.’ Well, I’ll figure out something, and it was only 12.99 and I got free shipping from Amazon, all I needed was to spend $25, so I bought some other stuff that I actually did use. It does look kind of interesting in a sort of weird low-tech kind of way. Garage sale maybe.