Delicious Poppy Seed Muffin (Thailand)

lemon muff1Not this week. No drug test. Don’t need one. I heard that if I ate poppy seed muffins I would fail said drug test. Maybe that’s true, or maybe it’s just one of those things that people tell you as kind of a joke, pop culture, TV stuff, makes good copy but not really true…

How well the poppy seeds are cleaned and processed will determine how much morphine residue is on the seeds, and this varies depending on which country the seeds are from as well as how and when they were harvested. However, it is known that morphine and codeine can sometimes be detected in the urine up to 48 hours after ingestion of poppy seed from some pastries such as bagels, muffins, and cakes…

Which country? Well I bought these seeds in Thailand. Did I you see American Gangster, Denzel in the jungle near the Burmese border buying some heroin and sending it on to New York in body bags….Cool movie, especially like the scene where Denzel is riding the elephant….That was in Thailand, a good story, but a lot of it was true.

I just took a ride up toward the border, near Mae Salomg. That was opium central in the bad old days, 1970’s-80’s. They even have a museum dedicated to opium production and some of the old timers still talk about Khun Sa, the well-known opium warlord (with his own private army) who operated out of the north or Thailand…

Over the two decades of his unrivaled dominance of the Shan state, from 1974 to 1994, the share of New York street heroin coming from the Golden Triangle—the northern parts of Myanmar, Thailand and Laos—rose from 5% to 80%. It was 90% pure, “the best in the business”, according to the Drug Enforcement Administration. And Khun Sa, the DEA thought, had most of that trade…

Hey. I’m talking about muffins!

(The) USADA cannot predict the amount of poppy seeds you can eat and still be below the testing threshold set by WADA, nor can USADA predict how long morphine or morphine metabolites from poppy seeds will stay in your system. The most conservative approach would be to avoid poppy seeds in the lead up to, and during, competitions…(a nice way or saying–drug tests, from the U.S Anti-doping Website).

OK, so it’s true. You can fail that drug test. So ditch that poppy seed bagel, or muffin, really.

lomon muff 2Hey, I’m feeling a bit mellow–kind of like I feel no pain. Oh, no, i want another. I’m almost out and I’m feeling a bit of anxiety. What happens when they’re gone? I need my fix. These things are so good. I like them better with the nice lemon glaze on top…

I think I’m addicted…

Hey, if you don’t have anything important going on in your life–like starting an important job in law enforcement, or at a hospital, or school, or anything that requires that you need to pass some important test, give them a try. They’re really good!

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